Grace Always Finds His Children
I drop the kids off at Vacation Bible School at a church we admittedly don’t attend, but know many of the congregants and their leadership. The church takes the safety of the kids very seriously, so after I sign off that I’ve dropped them off and stick numbered neon bracelets around their wrists, I can give them a hug, but I can’t go any further. I haven’t filled out the workers applications, haven’t been approved. I can’t walk them back to where all things start…they go without me.
Little girl unnamed, I see her stiffen – her whole body at a diagonal angle, feet plungered to the floor, back pushing against the worker leading her back to the sanctuary.
I cringe on the inside. Smile on the lips. Will she cry? Will she run?
Such a simple thing...Going to Vacation Bible School – this is fun, right? But it’s another part of her growing up, of her getting brave. And I’m praying it’s another piece of her story in learning that God is trustworthy.
She turns – oh, no. Without ever looking at my face she quickly wraps her arms around my middle, pushes her face fast into my belly, and I feel the tears she is commanding back down as she pushes off, turns, and goes down the long hallway.
I sigh a sigh of relief. She did it.
In the car Keith and Kristyn Gettys CD is playing. I turn on the lullaby they wrote for their own little girl who needed reminded not to be afraid on nights they aren't home to put her to bed. I’ve been wanting to memorize it so in my own broken, off-key voice I can sing it to occasionally scared girl as she drifts to sleep. It’s on repeat.
“Consider the stars in the sky;Look up and wonder, can you count their number?Consider the stars in the sky;Umbrella to hide in, a dance floor of heaven.Second or third time through and it's no longer about her.
Do not be afraidDo not be afraid
Consider the stars in the sky;When it is darkest they shine out the brightestConsider the stars in the skyIn every anguish, Oh, child take courage
Do not be afraidDo not be afraidHe who made all of this, and who holds all of this,Holds you in his hands”
“Consider the stars in the sky;Diamond in a ring. Over the Child King.Consider the stars in the sky;Grace He had promised, coming to find us”
Oh what a buttress for my soul! How often I forget, “Grace He has promised, coming to find [me].” Round every corner it has come. More than enough.
Here I am thinking I’m learning something for her, and here He is reminding me, one of His girls, that I can trust Him. I can trust Him with the time He’s giving me that I’m telling Him isn’t enough. I can trust Him with the work He’s given me that I’ve been telling myself I just can’t do. I can enjoy the gifts He’s given me that my failures, my sin, and the accuser remind me I simply don't deserve.
I realize I am so much like my sweet little girl, and probably with more to learn. I too often question if He will come through...If He will be enough.
Aren’t all the promises of God, yes in Christ? Yes, they are (2 Corinthians 1:20)! Grace He promised, coming to find me? Even me? Even me!
“Get busy, get distracted, and you can forget God. Forget God, and you lose your mind and your peace. Forget God, and all your remember is anxiety…Forget the face of God, and you forget your own name is Beloved.” Ann Voskamp, The Broken Way